I still miss you

Your absence still lingers in my mind all the time. 

I always wondered how beautifully the stars twine together, and I wished that they were never apart from each other overnight but the universe has to offer a unique scenario. I called her angel in my previous Blog as she deserves to be called on, what an amazing story comes with a bunch of coincidences gradually turning into a love story, the two beings lost in each other. Everything was going smoothly like a drowning stream through a planned land, it was never expected to have an obstacle or bifurcation but unfortunately, a shadow of veneer swipe to the rays of light, what happened at last? Should I call it a disastrous moment or a new spark for a new change.? Well, whatever happened was a nightmare, I lost the person who I loved the most and it all happened overnight, we aren't this much (heartless) to not even think of each other's feelings. No, as I regret all the incidents, I am damn sure she does so, yeah that's another thing if she has another reason for it to not even regret but honestly, I did. 

How can you let the person go who feels you, who listens to you, who understands you in any situation, and Who honestly loves you would never give you a chance to get rid of it?  She's the one with who I have talked with freedom, without any constraints she was a friend, a best friend, and love. It hurts when it comes to odd situations that make you weak at certain points and you unintentionally have to compromise on things that you can't imagine, there was a situation, I would call it a bad time, but perhaps my expectations were a little high for her to back up me and obviously she was not in that position to hand me which hurt me at the moment but it was alright for later on. I may have been a little harsh to her in an indirect way Which I was not but she felt it all whatever I was pouring my feelings on the internet. This become a spark of misunderstanding to interrupt our connection, in moments of aggressiveness we couldn't realize how badly we are attached which will hurt us in the future and we rush to take our ways turn aside. I may assume she has some other signals to follow for which she needs a reason to be apart from me, and she may have thought for me that, ''he is looking for personal interest in me or something else selfish'' but honestly it was not like how we behaved, how we pretend to be numb. That was never gonna happen to lose each other in this selfish way, which still hurts me and makes me think of my behavior. When I let time to heal the wounds, I, later on, realize the scratches are gonna hurt me over and over again, I was trying to forget everything that happened, even her but the human mind isn't like a machine to follow the command as instantly, I used to talk to more people tried to engage myself with people, went for conferences, made new friends but damn I still miss her, I couldn't replace her with anyone. She has all the reasons for me to be admired, to be loved, and what am I left with her memories lingering in my mind? Whenever I see people with her quality or similarities of choices she had, I get emotional, and my mind raises questions where is she? How's she? With who is she? Has she got the answer she always searches for? Oh damn, I would never find someone like her, I miss the frantic thoughts she used to share, I miss the long talks even when we were tired, I miss the way she used to talk about stars, the universe, and life, she was a pure selenophile, I miss the little problems she talked about. I miss the way she laughed at my lame jokes and I wish she laughs the same. I am a good listener and she is a good debater, and how wisely she brings things into a frame is her utmost skill. 

If this is overthinking about her, I need a therapist to work on my mind but what I feel is my love for her I can't be stopping, it's the attachment we had. Let me tell you it was not over, I stalked her to check on her, but couldn't find out any clue about her situation, I still stalk her and I wish to get back to her, but I know she has shown me the gestures of her behavioral change, I once got unintentionally connected with some stranger who later tried to know about our story and even gave me signals about her that she has someone else on her priority. But honestly, my heart is never ready to even accept it, it's been more than 7months, and I have made more than 70+ friends, and patched up with old folks but yet I am not able to catch the vibes she used to have. Yesterday was my birthday and my friends overwhelmed me with bundles of wishes and prayers but I missed her wish, as she wished me last year on my birthday, the Obscure Ditto. I can only wish good for her, that's in my capacity, I have no idea of her situation I really hope good for her. All I would say is if you disagree over something don't stretch it with assumptions to make it worse that's a time being feeling even if it's bad, just have some patience and let it pass. believe me you can't forget any person within one call, attachment is something beautiful keep it on, rather than making yourself anxious and the other person with perplexing experience. Do talk over issues directly, resolve them and live your life, you are lucky if you have found someone with whom you freely share your useless thoughts, problems, and height of ideas. Respect each other and make Love.  

Ps: The whole blog is based on a true love story, no offensive comments just enjoy it.

Cheers 🥂